The Links

The Essence IV — The Gathering

Back for what looks very much like a big ending to this Rabelaisian tale of unbridled lust, very silly names and uninhibited coupling.  In this weird universe, nobody does anything by halves, no one is content with two of anything if they can grow half a dozen.
     As things reach a climax — for want of a better word — we learn just what the Essence can do for us all.  It sounds like good stuff: 'no more wars, no more illness, no more jealousy, rage, hate, or envy.  Only love, lust, desire, happiness, bliss, contentment, and compassion.'  And zonking great tits, of course.

Al

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The Essence IIIa — Resistance

It had to happen.  Along comes somebody else with an episode of this popular story.  This chapter is intended to fit in between Parts III and IV. Does it work?   It seems to, opening the way to future excusions on the same lines.  Meet Nikola Lenin, an inventor with pooey armpits whose name seems vaguely familiar.   Nikola has a number of other worrying personal problems: he has an irritating ability to estimate the sizes of objects down to two places of decimals, and he finds Céline Dion's voice truly harmonious.  Nevertheless, he's got a lot going for him as a character, and it would be good to see more of him and this well-crafted off-shoot.

Al

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A Joke

This is a shortie with a bit of a twist.   You can safely memorise it to pass on to your mates in the pub.  It won't take long.  Make sure you've all had several beers first.  There's still a slight but significant risk that they'll look at you strangely and make an excuse to move to the other end of the bar.  Under no circumstances should you follow them and explain.

Al

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Blue Undercover
Boobs in Blue Issue #54 —
Blue Moonlight

A slightly shorter title from Plato Voltaire heralds this slightly shorter story than usual.  Quinn is prompted to compose a story when she reads about an old case in which a moonlighting cop was working behind a bar.  Only by preventing a robbery while thus working undercover did the cop save her career.
     We are introduced to a Restaurant called Bloomers, which is a memorable experience, but at times during the story Plato has problems with tenses and spell-checking, which tends to get in the way of the enjoyment.

Al

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Wishing Well

A bit of a stop-press jobbie, as this one arrived in the mail on Sunday morning.  How does a reviewer read a smutty story before breakfast on a Sunday morning?  With total dedication, that's how.
     The title gives it away as a 'be careful what you wish for' story, and it's hard for a writer to impart a new spin to such a well-worn formula.   So Mr Burns has set himself a daunting task before he's even typed a single word.   It had better be good, this story, or it will sink without trace alongside many others.  The test is, will it pass into the annals, to rank alongside those classics that are spoken of in hushed tones whenever BE-fans gather round the campfire?  And the answer: it probably will.
     The first surprise — this was at 8:00 am on a Sunday, remember — was that the eponymous wishing well was apparently of new construction.  They don't build wishing wells like they used to.  Then there's the wish — and the reader thinks, 'Oh no!  Why do these people never think before they cast their wish?'  If they did, there'd be no story, and in this case, no bursting bras and giant gazongas.
     Having said that, Mr B avoids damaging some perfectly serviceable if rather-too-small brassières by having his girls take them off before anything too terrible can happen to them, or even to not wear them at all.  But where bra sizes are mentioned, they stack up okay: no dropped !! marks for code violations here.  And this in spite of some pretty sizeable whoppers making their appearance, if perhaps a little more rapidly than is normal in polite society.
     I think R & D had a bit of a sneak preview of this story, so you may not find it on the archives for a day or two.  Keep an eye open, and be sure not to miss it!

Al

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